When Words Are Not Enough
Written By: Kim Wallant, MA, Creative Art and Play Specialist

Something is obviously going on with your child, but you're not sure what. Perhaps you daughter dreads going to school or throws tantrums when she doesn't get exactly what she wants. Or maybe she spends a lot of time alone playing with her toys and doesn't want play dates. Maybe your son gets into fights with his classmates when they don't do things his way. Or does he save his acting out behavior for when he is at home? More often than not, children do not how to put into words what might be bothering them in their daily lives. They might feel uncomfortable about the way another child treats them or frustrated with situations that occur in the classroom or at recess. They might be upset about a conflict with a sibling or a friend, but they can't pinpoint exactly what's going on. Typically, children won't be able to articulate what exactly is challenging or frightening to them. They will just show you with their behaviors that their fuse is blown and that they don't know how to handle what's on their plate. This is when play, sand tray, and art therapy can become useful tools.

At Families By Design in Boca Raton, our Creative Art and Play Specialist, Kim Wallant, MA, can support your child in identifying his or her feelings and in learning how to communicate them appropriately with you, as well as to other caregivers, to teachers, and to friends. Your child's natural language is play, and, by preschool or kindergarten, it is also art. Ms. Wallant will help you open your eyes to your child's ability to use toys, sand tray, and artwork to play out stories that relate directly to everyday worries and challenges. Even though your children don't know how to tell you directly what's going on or what's feels wrong about their lives, they have an astounding ability to use symbols and metaphors to show their feelings and beliefs about the world. Ms. Wallant will assist you in learning your child's special vocabulary of art and play so you can better understand your child's challenges and concerns. You will learn some different ways of interacting with your child that promote his or her expression of a wide range of feelings while you provide a loving and comfortable space for this communication to take place.

When your child is given the opportunity to use play and art in a self-directed way, he or she will gain self-confidence, self-control, problem-solving skills, and increased coping skills. Your child will learn to become more cooperative, more flexible and tolerant, and better able to tolerate frustration. As a parent, you will come to understand that your child's "misbehavior" is not manipulative or attention seeking, but is actually a clear sign that he or she lacks some specific tools in his or her cognitive and emotional toolbox: namely executive functioning, language processing, emotion regulating, cognitive flexibility, and social skills. When there is a lack of skills, the child's behavior will not improve based on a rewards or punishment program.

Viewed as a form of learning disability, your child's behavior can be overcome with an approach that addresses the whole child. As a result of your child's experience using art therapy, sand tray therapy, and play therapy at Families By Design in Boca Raton, you will be able to pinpoint some of your child's skills deficits and you will improve your child's ability to get along with others, feel happy and confident, and deepen his or her relationship with you and your family.