What can I do to make my pre-teen and teenager accountable for things they tell me they will do?

drmay December 27, 2008 9:51 AM

As parents, it is difficult to let go of being seen as the all-knowing when our kids start to grow up. Our pre-teens and teens no longer stop to listen to everything Mommy or Daddy has to say. Your parenting approach gets to move to more of a discussion style. Ask lots of questions and do lots of listening. When setting agreements, ask them why they chose particular responsibilities. Ask them why those particular things matter to them. For example, Why does it matter to them to complete their homework? Where do they want to go in life by completing their homework? Talk about life with them, Dream into their life with them...
Also- consider an opportunity where your teens get to be on the other side of holding people accountable. Some schools allow them to become Peer mediators, or they can volunteer to mentor a younger child.

dremery December 18, 2008 9:55 AM

When they say they will do something make it contingent on them earning something else they want to do like going out, computer etc