I have twins girls who just turned 10. How do I encourage them to be more outgoing and confident in dealing with their peers? I am afraid they are not standing up for themselves around the other girls who are very agressive.

regina December 30, 2008 9:52 PM

when my kids were younger i would make sure i praised them and encouraged them to trust their choices. i always talked to them as if they knew the right thing always and they just had to think about what was best for them and they would know. Teach your girls to trust themselves and trust what they think and feel.

drmay December 27, 2008 10:00 AM

Ask them to describe, write about, identify, or draw a confident person (different language may be- a person that feels good about themselves). Let them tell you what qualities make up this person. Ask them if they are similar or different to these qualities. Ask questions like- What would this confident person do?

dremery December 18, 2008 9:51 AM

I would be careful about encouraging them to be more outgoing as opposed to letting them choose. There are many ways to build confidence. In this situation I would ask your girls how they see the other girls. Ask if they think they are aggressive and what it is like for them dealing with these type of girls. Ask them how they feel it is best to deal with these type of people and why. By asking them you will learn about how they see the world and not put your own stuff on how you think they should handle it. You will also send a message that you care how they feel and want to understand them.